One of the issues that arise when planning your wedding is the topic of children at the wedding. Should they be in the wedding party? Will they be invited to the ceremony and/or reception? This is another instance where you need to remember that this is a decision for you and your significant other to make, and to base it on what you want, rather than what others want for your wedding.
First, there’s the choice of having children in the wedding party. A few things to consider are:
Do you and your spouse want a ring bearer and a flower girl in the party?
Are you only asking because you’re being pressured to do so?
Are you willing to deal with (if there are any) hard feelings from people who might feel slighted because they feel their child should have been asked instead of the one who was chosen?
If you decide to have a ring bearer or flower girl, take into consideration the child and his or her comfort level. Will they feel scared or intimidated in front of a lot of people?
Will they need their parent at the end of the aisle or to walk with them? They might be normally cute and well behaved, but their feelings should also be taken into consideration – not just want the adults want.
There’s also the choice of a “no child wedding”…and that is a choice that can be made by you, but you might receive some backlash for this. If you decide to, then here are some tips on how to make it a smooth announcement rather than coming off as a “child-hating” person.
Before mailing the invites, call friends and family to inform them that you will be having an adults only event, so this will give them ample time to find a sitter.
Do NOT write anything in the form of “No Children Allowed” on the invitation. A simple stating on the R.S.V.P. card that it is an adults only reception will suffice.
If it is in budget, and there is space for this (some venues have it), hire a responsible and reliable sitter or two, to stay with and occupy the children so the parent(s) can attend the reception and be at ease that the children are in the same vicinity as they are. *For this option, take into consideration ages of children, and if they have separation anxiety.
Set an age limit as to what a child is considered. Is it anyone under the age of ten? Thirteen? This is a decision that you and your spouse should decide together and possibly take the guest list and the ages of their child(ren) into consideration.
If you decide to have a no child ceremony and reception, you must be firm. Try not to be guilt tripped into “just allowing one, no one would notice or care.” Yes. People will notice and someone DEFINITELY will care.
It is important to weigh the pros and cons of having a child in or at the wedding if you or your partner are on the fence with the decision. If you decide not to, it is your decision and no one can tell you that you are wrong or selfish for making it so. You don’t have to justify why or answer to anyone, just make sure to announce it with decorum and poise and to stand your ground.